Archive for October 2006
Report: College Males Displeased By Female Halloween Conduct
Campusville, USA (BBM) – An independent survey conducted last week revealed a startling new trend in the attitude of college aged males towards the behavior of female students on Halloween: Frustration.
For many young women, Halloween has become an excuse to wear skimpy outfits and flaunt their sexuality in ways not normally accepted socially. But male students have apparently grown tired of the garishness.
“I just wish they would take the holiday more seriously bro,” said Louis Williams, a three year member of the Kappa Gamma Beta fraternity at Generic State College. “It’s like they don’t even care about the costumes anymore and just want to dress up hella slutty and shit.”
The survey, which questioned 1,163 students on 23 campuses nationwide, found that 63% of male students are disappointed with female Halloween costumes and behavior.
“You get these girls wearing a bikini and angels wings and a crown or something, but it’s not accurate,” said Tim Johnson, who lives in a dorm on the GSU campus. “I mean what angel wears that little clothes? Angels are self-respecting people you know what I mean?”
Feminist campus organizations are reportedly vexed by the results and unsure how to respond. “Male students mock us when we dress up in traditional costumes, but aren’t satisfied when we pander to them with our bodies,” said Marissa Katz, president of the Independent Women’s Society at Mundane University.
“It seems no matter what we do isn’t good enough. Gosh I hate them. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Why can’t he just be happy with me? What did I do? Am I too fat? Is that it? Why aren’t I good enough for him? Leave me for that bitch? Who does he think he is?”
Some male students are upset for selfish reasons. One New England student who asked to remain unidentified said that he found the promiscuous costumes painfully provocative.
“They wear these outfits and it’s barely anything,” he said. “But then they get all prissy when you look at them. If it’s not for attention, then why dress up like that? Guys just want to get some play, and if you tease us like that, it’s frustrating.”
But most young men don’t appear to be asking for anything too specific. Just more respect for the institution of Halloween, they say.
“I just feel like these chicks are overlooking a holiday that has lots of important history,” said Johnson. “I mean how many of these ho-bags can tell you that Halloween developed from the Celtic observance of Samhain. It’s more than pumpkins and candy for kids, and should be more than short skirts and cleavage for girls.”
“Plus,” he added. “Chicks are turning everything slutty when some of these things just aren’t. Try as you may, but you can’t make astronauts or football players sexy.”
